From Cairo

Pretty sure that, while I'm trying to finish my book over some lunch, there is a woman in a burkha breast-feeding a baby.

- JRHS, brother and A-rabist

The Amnesinsomniac Review

Advice for Insomnia

• Avoid caffeine.
• Don't drink before bed.
• Don't eat too much before bed.
• Take a bath before bed.
• Exercise.
• Sleep alone.

- Taken from The Skinny: On Losing Weight Without Being Hungry by Louis J. Arrone, M.D. The last piece of advice actually goes on to say, "Many people wake less often if they sleep alone, away from the distractions of a spouse or pet."

So now I'm wondering: if you couldn't make it up, what's the point in writing fiction?

Thought for the day

In the [American] colonies, prisoners were fed lobster. They got so tired of lobster all the time there were riots in the prisons.

(Thanks to Deedee)

For those of you who don't know

It's my birthday some time later this year.

[End of hint.]

That's what I'm talking about!

(Thanks to RN)

Seasonal cheer

Why? Why? And why?

Woman gobbles 51 of world's hottest chillies - and rubs 25 in her eyes while Gordon Ramsay watches in horror

Bourdain again

"Maybe only music has the power to bring a place or a person back, so close that you can smell them in the air. And I can't play guitar."

A man after my own heart - and lack of talent.

(Extract taken from the blue-ribbon Preface of The Nasty Bits)

Bourdain on writing

Spot on, as per:

"Fiction's hard. I do it because it's therapy. I spend a lot of time writing about myself, talking about myself and what happens to me. Me, me, me. Fiction is a nice escape from that. You can also be a lot more truthful about a lot of things. Things I can't say in non-fiction, I can say in fiction. But there's that damn plot thing. I really resent plot. I like creating characters and environments. That's really fun for me. But having to create a story arc is something I have always resented."

(A.V.)

If you're in London...

be damn sure to go here:


Order the Parrillada Deluxe (with extra black pudding), down a Fernet (if you can stand it), glug gallons of Quilmes, a good Malbec, port, sambuca and at least one espresso, then stagger out into the delights of Hackney, nurse your hangover the next day with hot and sour pho, follow with a few rounds of Guinness and Jose Cuervo, soak up with sashimi and Kirin, then get jiggy to Aretha, Stevie, James Brown and co. on Fosters, Peroni and vodka and soda until your knees give way.

You cannot go wrong. Check it out:



www.buenayre.co.uk

In Sainsbury's

... I bought:

Tuna, 125g
Semi-skimmed milk, 1pt
'Taste the difference' green beans, 1pkt
Condoms, extra safe, 12

'A balanced diet,' I thought.

'A rapist with a cat,' thought Lordina the check-out girl.

All's at steak

So thank everything you consider holy for AA Gill:

Steak is aspiration. Steak is the promise of better to come. Steak is capitalism on a plate, it's bloody muscle and it tastes of sweat and gore and burnt ambition. There is nothing hidden in a steak...

Diet of Wurms

Last night, between 11pm and 3am, I ate:

1 Bacon Double Cheese super size meal (fanta)

Sausages (3), mash/champ and kale

Weetabix (3), with cream, raisins and chocolate powder

and

at least 8 cups of tea.

Anyone know the precise symptoms for tapeworm?