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ohmigod, n. unit of measurement for adolescent enthusiasm (rare)

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slowlights, n. Real-time test-match footage, as shown on Day 5, to fill broadcast schedule in light of humiliating defeat.

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saxoporn, n. musical genre, originating in '80s Demi Moore movies, now found also in chain coffee-shops, DIY superstores and branches of LUSH.

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titter, v. traditional schoolboy reaction to mention of jugs, norks, boobies, and other adolescent synonyms for jubbly fun-bags.

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dinner dance, n. prelude to a violent voiding of the bowels, usu. in the tropics (esp. if some distance from the nearest convenience). Ideally performed solo.

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impostropher, n. One who puts apostrophe's where they do not belong.

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Double-entry book-keeping, n. Pornographic act involving librarians.

InDefinition - Guest Entry

Specialist, n. Someone whose expertise is breadth-taking.

- Julian Baggini

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singletonne, n. Unattached female, often for obvious reasons. (Orig. Fr.)

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Marxist feminism, n. No sex for everyone

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afrodisiac, n. - Viagra for bruthaz.

The definition of pressure

"The last time he took a penalty kick he missed and his mother was taken to hospital after collapsing."

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deprecation, n. What Hollywood types do to their eyebrows whenever a foreigner asks them to laugh at themselves.

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accidental philanthropy, n. Having your stuff stolen.

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Nascent, n. prop. Original name of Tashkent (before it got big, of course).

InDefinition - 1

mumpteen, adj. Precise number of times your mother has seen a given film (Notting Hill, e.g.) the basic plot of which she still cannot remember.