Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 4

1. Librarian answering the phone: "Salem Public Library, how may I help you?" Woman on the phone: "Yes, hello, you're located in Manchester correct?" Librarian: "Um, no."

2. Different librarian, answering another phone call: "Yes sir, just one moment, I'll get that information for you...ok, here it is. It's spelled L-A-M-B, and the definition is, 'a young sheep'. Is that all? Ok, bye."

3. "WHERE ARE YOUR SPACE BOOKS?"

4. "Do you guys have that book by that chick Annie Frank? She wrote diaries and shit..."

Patrons of the Week: Dustin Hoffman, Jennifer Lopez

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee Cusack, the AR's mole in the SPL)

Literarily

The British Library is asking for sponsors to help cover the cost of restoring some 200 selected titles in their collection.

One of the books on offer is Things Fall Apart.

Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 3

1. "I'm not sure if you're the person to ask, but I'm interested in how someone would perform an exorcism..."

2. Man on phone: "What are your hours today?" Me: "10am to 5pm" Man on phone: "Ok...and you're open?"

3. Crazy man to me: "Do you like working here? Do you like ALL the books? I bet you don't like novels. Doris Day!"

Patron Names of the Weekend: Twinkle Yumasi & Yu Hu

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee "Suck on my pencil" Cusack.)

Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 2

1. Five-year-old boy to other child's grandmother: "So, what kind of car do YOU drive?"

2. Confused little girl to mother: "Happy Thanksgiving!"

3. "I'm looking for a boy, his name is Benjamin, I call him Ben WHERE IS HE?!"

4. Crazy Obese Lady wearing a crop top and plastic bags on her hands: "Has my copy of House Beautiful arrived yet?"

Patron Names of the Week: Marisa Flomp & Randy Paradise

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee Cusack.)

Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 1

1. Old lady, looking at a copy of "A Time To Kill" by John Grisham: "Oh that's nice, you never seem to be able to plan hacking someone to pieces, it just sort of...happens."

2. "Excuse me, could you help me find a book? I don't know the title. It's by a female author from the South who may or may not be dead. She writes stories. Have you read it?"

3. "I'm pretty sure Flannery O'Connor is a dude."

4. "And that's why the Goddess gave us boobs."

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee Cusack, sexy cardigan-wearing pencil-chewing seductress extraordinaire.)