CNN caught using Onion headlines!

Official: Al Qaeda hasn't gotten far in getting nuclear weapons
04/13/10 04:02 AM, EDT
The president's top counterterrorism adviser says there is indisputable evidence that dozens of terrorist groups have sought weapons of mass destruction. But a U.S. intelligence official who is not authorized to speak for attribution said although al Qaeda clearly wants a nuclear weapons capability, it hasn't gotten very far.

Copyright (for Mother)

Contra my own literary blunders, Wendy Cope's views on copyright are actually a matter of record. Oops.

Intriguing copy, just in

(CNN) -- Outside court a few blacks watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Outside court a few blacks watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Outside court a few blacks watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Outside court a few blacks in South Africa watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Video: The promise of black gold

Outside court a few blacks watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Outside court a few blacks watched nervously, one of them telling CNN they are scared.

Anita Davis contributed to this report.

--
Sent out at 6pm, Sri Lankan time: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/04/06/test/index.html

Articles of faith (= you can't make it up)

Vienna Boys' Choir caught up in sex abuse scandals

by Roger Boyes

Amnesiac Texts - IX

Dom: Our newspapers are beyond a joke. Jermaine Defoe has a column. We don't.

Leather Fair Draws International Community

The three-day long All African Leather Fair (AALF), organised by the Ethiopian Leather Industries Association (ELIF), ended on a note of satisfaction.

- Ethiopian News, February 2010

Rationalisation

"The BBC has stated that it plans to do fewer things better"

- BBC announcement, BBC news.

Touched By The Unknown

- a nun from beyond?

Actual headline from this week's Sunday Times (SL).

Ethiopians vs the World (Service)

Ethiopian tour operators tear it up in Docklands in anger at the BBC.

One sympathises.

Exporting tossers to Krakow

Bugoslawska Marcinkowska fights crime in the Renaissance Market.

[Thanks to AT]

'Dicks unhappy with referee'

(but ain't that always the way?)

Seriously, though...

No(ta)bels

Neat piece on Nobel oddities (Obama award not incl.)

The broad church of academia

... with the ever-dwindling congregation.

Happily remarried

For the twenty-second time.

Why read The Onion?!

"Elephant stolen in Witney"

One of the more unlikely (noe to say 'disingenuous') headlines from this week's Oxford Mail.

Captions of the day so far - 2

From Colombo's glossy celebrity monthly, Hi!!:

• "A Girl doing her best in the hearing impaired long jump event."


• "A rear treat for these differenty able children."

This last, readers will be relieved to know, accompanied a totally innocent photograph of children on a merry-go-round.

Captions of the day so far

• Fruity: According to Mr Simpkins, the lime has a 'particularly lurid' expression on its face during its encounter with a lemon


• Debauched: The lime enjoys a similarly smutty experience with a willing pair of cherries

Taken from here.

(Thanks to RN)

Smoking - 3

A little late in the day, I know; but (surely) the greatest headline never written, from back when Sven Goran Eriksson was caught diddling his personal assistant at the FA:

No smoke without a Faria Alam

Minnie offences

My (gorgeous) friend/landlady Rebecca is (deliberately) feeling morbid today. At least she was, until she saw this news item, and sent it on to me:

Man Convicted of Groping Minnie Mouse at Disney

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: August 11, 2009

Filed at 12:48 p.m. ET

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) -- A 60-year-old man has been convicted of groping a woman in a Minnie Mouse costume at Walt Disney World.

John William Moyer of Cressona, Pa., told the judge he is innocent. His son said before sentencing that his father would never inappropriately touch a woman.

He was convicted Tuesday of misdemeanor battery and sentenced to write the victim an apology, serve 180 days probation and complete 50 hours of community service. Moyer must also pay $1,000 in court costs and possibly undergo a mental evaluation.

The victim says she had to do everything possible to keep Moyer's hands off her breasts.

(NYT - yes, really)

The perils of smoking

A Greek woman accused of setting fire to a British tourist's genitals in Crete has appeared in court.

Maria Fanoudaki, 26, is accused of pouring a glass of Sambuca on his groin and setting it alight in a bar in the resort of Malia.

Her lawyer said the 20-year-old victim had fondled her, and may have sparked the blaze himself while trying to light a cigarette.

(BBC)