Small talk

Me: I don't drink white wine.
KR: You're sitting in front of a painting writing a classical music review.

Feeling the Roth (p.3)

They decided to avail themselves of the facility reserved to people in our own century when they don't know what to do - they went to the cinema.

- The Legend of the Holy Drinker

Feeling the Roth (p.2)

The nuts and bolts of a miracle have nothing miraculous about them.

- The Legend of the Holy Drinker

Feeling the Roth (p.1)

'I see,' said the clochard, 'that you have understood me and my sense of honour perfectly. I give my word that I will keep my word.'

- The Legend of the Holy Drinker

After Wilde

Cursing is the work of the drinking classes.

Holy fucking

shit

Booze just in

Alcohol shoves a grandiose but nervous mind into a trench of this world and fills it with impatience about the future.

- Dr. Arnold Mandell, co-chair psychiatry dept., UCSD

The Amnesinsomniac Review

Advice for Insomnia

• Avoid caffeine.
• Don't drink before bed.
• Don't eat too much before bed.
• Take a bath before bed.
• Exercise.
• Sleep alone.

- Taken from The Skinny: On Losing Weight Without Being Hungry by Louis J. Arrone, M.D. The last piece of advice actually goes on to say, "Many people wake less often if they sleep alone, away from the distractions of a spouse or pet."

So now I'm wondering: if you couldn't make it up, what's the point in writing fiction?

The post-Blur blur

JD Wetherspoon's - 1

Right. That does it. I'm leaving the country at the end of the summer.

Quote of the day

"Too much drinking goes on in this country. Too many people are not happy unless they have had a drink."

- Harry Redknapp (!?!)

Note to barmen

The customer may not always be right.

But he is always 'Sir'.

Booze Good For Creativity

OFFICIAL!

In the name of science, I hereby grant that my body may be exhumed.

That's what I'm talking about!

(Thanks to RN)

Amen

"When combined in the figure of a philosopher such as Diogenes, drunkenness and sleep point to the highest levels of human achievement, a moment of divine rapture."

- Maria Ruvoldt*, The Italian Renaissance Imagery of Inspiration: Metaphors of Sex, Sleep, and Dreams

*Really.

Titles gone begging - 1

The Time I Invited my Editor Out for a Pint and then Put His Face through the Pub Quiz Machine.

Warning to young poets

"Young would-be poets... noted that Brendan Behan and Dylan Thomas were poets who drank, and... went on themselves to be drunks who wrote poems."

- Julie Burchill, Beckham

Dilemma

By way of a spiritual and corporeal (and financial) rest cure, each year my parents make an effort to mark Lent with a laying off of booze.

This evening they are dining at the vicarage.

I bet you any money there'll be wine.

Thought for the day (so far)

Coffee: why does it smell like garlic?

Point of Information

Tuborg Green...


























... isn't.

Someone call the Trade Descriptions police.