Literarily

The British Library is asking for sponsors to help cover the cost of restoring some 200 selected titles in their collection.

One of the books on offer is Things Fall Apart.

World's greatest lyric singer

... gets touched up by Sting.




















[Thanks to Benedict Hymas. (Your grubnuts are in the post.)]

Least surprising headline

in rock and roll history. Here.

[See also - 'all that's worst about life in the USA.']

Brilliant stuff

from Geoff Dyer:

"Conceived as a distraction, it immediately took on the distracted character of that from which it was intended to be a distraction, namely myself."

- from Page 1 (God help me!) of Out of Sheer Rage.

Somewhat overdue, but still...

Seeing Oasis live, at Wembley.

Thought for the day

"[H]e could pass the entire day in a twilight of boredom and arousal."

- Ian McEwan, On Chesil Beach

Glass of water on a shelf half empty

This approach – passionate about the work, doubtful of economic reward – has always been the best attitude for an artist to have throughout history. It costs money to be a student and they expect it to cost money to be an artist: making films, printing photographs, buying canvases. But it's something they have to do. They are what you might call hardheaded dreamers. Art, says Underhill, "is a strange relationship that you have with yourself".

From here.

(Thanks to RN MA)

Thought for the day

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."

- Anaïs Nin.

And so does something else.

Overheard in the coffee shop

A pair of aging/aged rockers, sipping Coca-Cola, munching on goats cheese salad baguettes. Says one rocker to the other rocker (in a perfect Ozzy Osbourne/Nigel Tuffnel accent):

"Oh, man, I haven't had sex in six months."

Philosophy of balls #3

It's not that I lack 'that killer instinct'.

It's that I lack 'those killer skills'.

The ultimate eulogy

"His death has shocked anyone who had any contact with him or knew his work. The drugs were all there in the artwork (and the rumours), but so was a sense of real beauty and honesty. It wasn't necessarily the aesthetic of his work, but its independence that made it so influential. He simply didn't give a shit."

Francesca Gavin on Dash Snow.

(Thanks to RN MA.)

Research LATEST

Cats use a "soliciting purr" to overpower their owners and garner attention.

So do women.

Philosophy of balls #2

Every summer, there comes a moment where the Smyth family tennis balls are discovered to be flat beyond use. Curiously, this revelation always occurs during a match which I lose.

Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 3

1. "I'm not sure if you're the person to ask, but I'm interested in how someone would perform an exorcism..."

2. Man on phone: "What are your hours today?" Me: "10am to 5pm" Man on phone: "Ok...and you're open?"

3. Crazy man to me: "Do you like working here? Do you like ALL the books? I bet you don't like novels. Doris Day!"

Patron Names of the Weekend: Twinkle Yumasi & Yu Hu

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee "Suck on my pencil" Cusack.)

Google ads

This just appeared on the Amnesiac Review/blogger dashboard...

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What key word triggered THAT?!

Reality TV pitch

"fat asthmatic kid with claustrophobia and allergic to bee stings, in a small room, with 1 bee released into the room every 2 minutes, and a tennis racquet with only 4 strings to ward them off – kid must remain in the room for 24 hours to win ?10k."

[Thanks to PC, all round fop and master torturer]

Submission guidelines

3) The Puritan's only mandate is quality. Or literary celebrity.

Alas, like so many publications, The Puritan is no more.

I don't mean to quibble...

East-European szhppam

"Престижные часы Patek Philippe, Rado, Hublot. Экономьте в кризис, цены от 7475 рублей.‏"

All I really want to know is - How does 'Donnie Eubanks' know I speak Russian?!

InDefinition - Guest Entry

Specialist, n. Someone whose expertise is breadth-taking.

- Julian Baggini

The philosophy of balls #1

When I was about 10 someone told me I was a 'serve-and-volley' kind of guy.

That advice has stuck with me.

I serve, I volley... I hope like hell that nothing else is required.

Travel advisory

For rockers:

India UPDATE

From my (newly-wed) pal Dr. Björn Öldbean:

"India is always interesting. Out on the street just now I heard lots of drums being beaten, and when I looked a tightrope had been set up and a kid was walking across it with a water jar on her head."

Overheard at the Salem Public Library, Vol. 2

1. Five-year-old boy to other child's grandmother: "So, what kind of car do YOU drive?"

2. Confused little girl to mother: "Happy Thanksgiving!"

3. "I'm looking for a boy, his name is Benjamin, I call him Ben WHERE IS HE?!"

4. Crazy Obese Lady wearing a crop top and plastic bags on her hands: "Has my copy of House Beautiful arrived yet?"

Patron Names of the Week: Marisa Flomp & Randy Paradise

(Courtesy of Mrs. Dee Dee Cusack.)

Extracts from B&Q pamphlet

Rent the Rug Doctor
... and put the Freshness back with professional results everytime!

Do you remember...

How good it looked?
How soft it felt?
That fresh smell?

Although it's lightweight and easy to use the Rug Doctor has the power to remove the dirt other cleaners leave behind.

With our unique vibrating brush system... why pay for a professional service when you can do it yourself for so much less and at a time that suits you?

IDentikit

My girlfriend................................... .....My... oh.

Answer to Ashes-related Question of the day

A 'faece-wipe', surely?

Ashes-related Question of the day

"What's the collective noun for a collection of shit-eating grins?"

- Jack Sandham, again.

Question of the day

"What's the writing equivalent of dropping your pick into your guitar?"

- Jack Sandham

Mein Digital Era Kampf

[Thanks to AH, after Everett True]

InDefinition - 7

singletonne, n. Unattached female, often for obvious reasons. (Orig. Fr.)

cogito

Life is the bind that glues us together.

Voice breaking news

King of Pop Dead At 12

My (American) girlfriend, on The Ashes

"So, which teams are playing today?"

Beyond criticism

I shall not see - and don't I know 'em?
A critic lovely as a poem.

- Dorothy Parker, Song in the Worst Possible Taste, For a Certain Mr. S., Who Got Too Personal

(Thanks to Sancho Panties)

What's that scraping noise?

As located in my girlfriend's spambox, so to speak:

From: ED Pills News

Subject: Your wang will reach ceiling

A right festive cluster

[With thanks to Mr Christian Goursaud, for actually being in the damn thing.]

Luther (in context)

"Here I stand... It's my piles..."

Porcine point-scoring

According to Facebook, my mate Rich knows* two women by the name(s) of Rosie Hogflesh and Ellie Wildbore.

Apparently he also knows someone called Jennifer Herron, though, so I don't think he's trying to set a trend, or anything.

--
* not necessarily in the Biblical sense, you understand.

Of divers colours

London's fashionistas show us how it's done.