1) You can't. Don't bother trying.
2) ...
3) ...
Still, for those readers keen to wish away the truth here's some really inspiring stuff from The Independent, this nation's paper for big and important issues.
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On the road with a long-distance Morris Dancer
The Truth About Britney Spears and Me
The future's bright (but only for the dim)
10 Tattoos You Should Never Get
The 10 Best First-Date Movies
Jawohl, Jacqui! First booze, then ballet
A Very British Weather Report
Don't ban ice; help melt it
Did Winston Churchill really exist?
Lewis Hamilton and the black-face of racism
Our cast iron commitment to wasting your time
Word of the Year 2007
Jack Sandham on MySpace
Will Butterworth on MySpace
Hillbilly & The Bonfire on MySpace
WHAT
A blog of all the things we'd otherwise Guy Forget.
WHO
DOMINIC HILTON and ASH SMYTH are editors of the (forthcoming) Amnesiac Review.
WHY
Because things are always clearer in hindsight.
Posts
In others' words
"Using the internet is the modern form of knitting."
Tom Wolfe
"Sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position."
Stephen King
"The artist is also a man."
Leoncavallo (Pagliacci)
"[Writing] is a sort of sedentary, carpet slippers, self-inspecting, nose-picking, arse-scratching kind of job, just you in your study and there is absolutely no way round that."
Martin Amis
Tom Wolfe
"Sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position."
Stephen King
"The artist is also a man."
Leoncavallo (Pagliacci)
"[Writing] is a sort of sedentary, carpet slippers, self-inspecting, nose-picking, arse-scratching kind of job, just you in your study and there is absolutely no way round that."
Martin Amis
"Don't like writers much. Given a choice between being trapped on a desert island with a group of writers or a family of howler monkeys, I think I'd pick the monkeys. At least I could eat them."
Anthony Bourdain
"The internet is the work of Satan."
Kinky Friedman
"I avoided writers carefully because they can perpetuate trouble as no one else can."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
"The internet is the work of Satan."
Kinky Friedman
"I avoided writers carefully because they can perpetuate trouble as no one else can."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Buy Adam's book on Amazon
Articles
Labels
- (Il)literati (162)
- A writer's life (143)
- At the movies (24)
- Bad Science (23)
- baseball (20)
- Basie's Dictionary of (hitherto-unknown) Interesting Words and Phrases (11)
- Best (and Worst) of Brian Moore (1)
- Best of Bowra (1)
- Biograffiti (23)
- Blogging (6)
- cricket (7)
- Crime (30)
- Death (4)
- Dom's Pensées (4)
- Dominic's recipes (1)
- Drink (20)
- Education (49)
- Family fortunes (18)
- Fashion (6)
- Finance (34)
- Food (13)
- football (25)
- Foreign parts (24)
- Friendly advice (2)
- Good Science (11)
- Governmentalism (17)
- Hair (1)
- Heroes (36)
- In context (4)
- InDefinition: a lexicon for the 21st century. (16)
- Kultur (16)
- Limerick laureates (1)
- Lyrics (12)
- Mates (8)
- Matrimony (3)
- Mothers(-in-law) (7)
- Music (105)
- My Home Town (is Colombo) (2)
- My magnificent octopus (4)
- Nature Notes (29)
- News Just In (17)
- Out and About (76)
- Overheard at the library (5)
- Penis NB (15)
- Poetry (2)
- Politics (26)
- Quality Journalism (83)
- Quoted matter (206)
- Really crap observations (31)
- Religion (27)
- Reviewing the Noughties (2)
- Rugby (4)
- Running gags (5)
- Schooldays (2)
- Schweinfluenza (12)
- Seffrica (9)
- sex (34)
- sex? (53)
- sex? Latin (1)
- shopping (2)
- Smyth's sayings (39)
- Something Amis (1)
- Spam (22)
- Tennis (10)
- The 5-Minute Management Course (6)
- The Amnesiac emails (1)
- The Amnesiac Texts (12)
- The Arsenal (6)
- The Lizard (1)
- The morals of James Thurber (1)
- The Nabokov notes (1)
- The Unexplained (10)
- The Wisdom of Girlfriends (14)
- The world of work (we're told) (21)
- Theatrics (38)
- Thought for the day (82)
- Tip for the day (8)
- Titles gone begging (10)
- Trains (7)
- Travel (5)
- Unattended articles (68)
- Wacko Jacko (10)
- Websites we like (6)
- Wheelchair stories (2)
Check Out
Jack Sandham on MySpace
Will Butterworth on MySpace
Hillbilly & The Bonfire on MySpace
Tunes we like
Blog Archive
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2009
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January
(45)
- Cynicism
- In Sainsbury's
- Spam of the day
- Books bought... UPDATE
- Priorities
- The joy(s) of text
- Point of Information
- All's at steak
- Science LATEST
- Employment LATEST
- Loved to pieces
- "A song about liberals we can't stand"
- Diet of Wurms
- Clothes
- Overheard in NatWest
- The Libertarian Paradox
- "I learned a new word today, Basie...." - 7
- Hollywood Actor Tries to Gyp Death
- SPAM du jour
- Rock 'n' Roll
- Reviewing the Noughties - 1
- The collapse of General Motors explained
- Breaking News
- You should be reading...
- Books bought today in a poverty-stricken frenzy
- "advanced in age With the fear of God"
- This explains A LOT
- Credit Crunch latest
- Aliens will never come in peace
- Tweed UPDATE
- On Rimbaud
- "I learned a new word today, Basie" - 6
- Medical Warning
- Tweed
- Right up your Avenue.
- Confucius, he should have said...
- Three things everyone should know about Alistair C...
- Citizenship advice
- Norodom Sihanouk
- 10 Best Ways for a Man to Impress a Woman
- In my father's house are many curmudgeons
- Purpose Of Bicycles Discovered!
- Classicfm news
- Hemingway
- Warning
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January
(45)
About us
Dominic Hilton thinks Nero Wolfe was on to something when he said, "Nothing corrupts a man so deeply as writing a book." Dominic loves baseball, has a phobia of the theatre and theatregoers, and secretly longs to get far from the madding crowd. Dominic used to be in a promising band named 'The Women of the Ghetto' but was cruelly voted out by his treachorous bandmates before he even had the chance to learn an instrument.
ASH Smyth is a freelance journalist who divides his time evenly between construction work and singing at the Chapel Royal, Hampton Court Palace. Disillusioned with the genocidal warzones of Kent, he will soon be found busking for dollar on the streets of Colombo. "We're all in the gutter," he says, "but some of us are looking for change."
Before turning their attention to the Amnesiac Review, Adam and Dominic edited The Lizard magazine. Following a violent disagreement about the proper dimensions of a mullet, they are no longer on speaking terms.
ASH Smyth is a freelance journalist who divides his time evenly between construction work and singing at the Chapel Royal, Hampton Court Palace. Disillusioned with the genocidal warzones of Kent, he will soon be found busking for dollar on the streets of Colombo. "We're all in the gutter," he says, "but some of us are looking for change."
Before turning their attention to the Amnesiac Review, Adam and Dominic edited The Lizard magazine. Following a violent disagreement about the proper dimensions of a mullet, they are no longer on speaking terms.
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