Re: The consolations of matrimony

My inbox bulges with this response to my earlier post from another friend who may or may not be called Frank (just as he may or may not be called Englebert):

Dominic

This could only be written by a newlywed or someone contemplating marriage from a theoretical vantage point. Such convictions will never out last the honeymoon as the object of his touchingly naïve but misplaced affections makes it clear to him how it’s going to be from now on, starting with no more BJs and deteriorating from there.

I prefer Dr. Johnson Advice to a Young Man Contemplating Marriage: “Don’t”

Been there

For the record, I have no immediate plans for marriage. This is less to do with my fear of commitment than the fact that I don't have $260 for the "Hound Dog Special" wedding package. As soon as I do, I'm tying a knot in my knob (a traditional Native American custom practiced by the Semen'ole tribe).