On the bourgeois conditionNB This all from one chapter - 'Essays, Prefaces, Speeches, Reviews and Things Jotted on Napkins' - of Age And Guile (beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut)
When the gods would form an ass,
First they make him middle-class,
Give him comic cares and woes,
And let his wife pick out his clothes.
On education
Education is not just a matter of learning things. There's a difference between learning and knowledge. It's the difference between Christy Turlington's phone number and Christy Turlington.
On arguing with the women in your life
If you can't prevail over an aged woman whose every weakness and foible you know and with whom you have been contending your entire life, how do you expect to do against a team from out of town?
On war
I know why most societies don't allow women in combat. Combat is just a battle to the death. You don't want it to turn into something really ugly like a marriage.
On writing careers
There is one thing worse than writing (I mean, other than getting a real job or cancer) - promoting what you've written.
On nascent writing careers
Good reporters don't ask any [interview] questions because they are too busy getting drunk with the author. The only decent questions come from the young reporters, who ask "Is writing really better than getting a real job or cancer?"
On music
Rock lyrics don't give rock musicians adequate scope for full intellectual expression because so few words rhyme with boogie.
On anatomy
For a purely untrustworthy human organ, the memory is right in there with the penis.
On fashion
Miniskirts caused feminism.
NB'issimi Age And Guile (PB edition) was a loving and generous leaving present from my fellow Amnesiac... who naturally kept the hardback copy for himself.
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